There was a time in my life when I felt unseen. Unheard. Forgotten.
I stood in a courtroom as the system failed to protect me. I watched as the home I had nurtured became a battleground. I was silenced in spaces that were meant to uphold justice, and the pain of abuse, betrayal, and displacement echoed louder than my voice could reach.
But even in that silence — God heard me.
Even in that darkness — God saw me.
Even in that brokenness — God loved me.
And Psalm 139 became a lifeline.
A God Who Knows Every Part of Us
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You discern my thoughts from afar.”
(Psalm 139:1–2)
When trauma robs you of your sense of identity, Psalm 139 tenderly reminds you: you are deeply known by the Creator Himself.
In the aftermath of domestic abuse, I questioned everything — my worth, my strength, even my reality. Gaslighting had distorted the truth so much that I felt like a ghost in my own story. But this psalm met me where I was — in fear, confusion, and survival mode — and whispered a gentle truth:
“I know you, child. You are not invisible to Me.”
While I was being evicted from the very house I was paying for, while my voice was lost in legal battles, and while trauma threatened to reduce me to silence — God reminded me that He saw the whole picture. He saw the injustices. He saw the tears cried behind closed doors. He saw me.
There’s Nowhere You Can Go That God Won’t Follow
“Where shall I go from Your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from Your presence?
If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there!”
(Psalm 139:7–8)
When I was forced from my home and left to face homelessness, I felt abandoned. I was physically displaced — but emotionally? Spiritually? I was wandering in a wilderness.
And yet… God was there.
Not just in the peaceful moments — but right there in the chaos.
Psalm 139 reassures us that there’s no depth too dark for God’s presence. Whether in a hospital bed, a courtroom, a temporary shelter, or a tear-stained pillow — God is not afraid to sit with us in the lowest places.
For survivors of abuse, this is a revelation. Because trauma isolates. Shame tells you that you’re too broken, too messy, too complicated for anyone — even God — to stay close. But this scripture cancels that lie completely.
God doesn’t walk away when we’re at our lowest. He draws even closer.
You Were Not a Mistake — You Were Made for More
“For You formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
(Psalm 139:13–14)
The abuse I endured tried to strip me of identity. I was reduced to labels: victim, woman, mother, problem. The court order that forced me out of my home didn’t see me as a human being with a heartbeat and a story. But God did.
Psalm 139 reminds us that we are not defined by what was done to us, but by Who created us.
Even through years of trauma, I began to reclaim what had been buried:
My creativity.
My resilience.
My purpose.
My voice.
And from the ashes of that pain, SJ Interior Designs, Home Fix Boutique, and my books — Silent Screams, Loud Strength and The Little Voice That Roared — were born. These are not just projects. They are sacred declarations of survival. They are evidence that the woman the world tried to break is still here — building, writing, and healing not only for herself but for others.
Search Me, Lead Me, Restore Me
“Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”
(Psalm 139:23–24)
This final verse is not a plea of guilt — it is an invitation. An invitation for God to continue the healing process. To sift through the rubble and reveal beauty again.
In my own healing journey — through journaling, meditation, therapy, prayer, and reflection — I have come to understand that restoration is not an instant destination. It is a daily surrender. A daily trust that God is still leading me, even when I don’t know what tomorrow looks like.
And today, I offer that same truth to you:
You are not too far gone.
You are not too broken.
You are not what happened to you.
You are who God is lovingly restoring you to become.
A Reflection for You
If you are in a place where the world feels loud but you feel voiceless — Psalm 139 is for you.
If you’ve been displaced, discarded, devalued — Psalm 139 is for you.
If you are rebuilding from the ruins of trauma — Psalm 139 is your anthem of hope.
You are fully known. You are deeply loved.
And your healing is holy.
Thoughts
Psalm 139 has become more than a passage in my Bible — it’s a truth I now live and breathe. When systems fail, God does not. When others forget, He remembers. And when we fall apart, He doesn’t leave — He restores.
This is the heartbeat of my story. And if you’re reading this, maybe it’s yours too.
Journal Prompt:
How does knowing that you are fully known and deeply loved by God change the way you see your trauma — and your healing?
